Well, it seems I have been greatly missed. I was on a long trip that I didn't go on by choice. Honestly, dears, I woke up in a different dimensions. It was quite strange.
On my first interdimensional trip, I found myself at Comicon 2001. Go figure. I was bombarded with nerds who only believed me to be a wanna-be. They made lewd comments regarding my outfits until Mr. Stan Lee showed up. This of course drove the nerds away. Thank God. Anyways, as I wandered the halls filled with geeks and fanboys, I was cornered by a certain Mr. Logan and his trusty sidekick, Beast. At first I was taken aback by their laughable costumes.
"There you are!" The Wolverine told me. His nasal passage ways were obviously clogged. "You're just in time for the group judging."
"No thanks, dear." I said, flustered. I turned to leave, but Beast grabbed my arm.
"Please," his irritatingly whiney voice chimed. "You finally got the costume right and dropped those thirty or so pounds."
"Let go of me," I growled.
"C'mon! You're perfect as Emma now." the fake Wolverine chanted. "Just this once. Don't make me slice you!" He held his cotton filled claws up to my neck.
That was a huge mistake. I turned into diamond and broke the Beast's arm. Then I whirled around punched the Wolverine right in the nose. "We just wanted to be Wolverine and his Fantastic Friends," he sobbed, falling. That will teach them not to make teams reminiscent of a certain cartoon from 1981 starring Spiderman, Firestar and Iceman.
Unfortunately, the security guards saw me fighting. I merely pushed a few of their bliss buttons. Thankfully, I saw a rip in the interdemensional continuum. I jumped through, hoping it would lead home.
I awoke later and found myself in a dark cold room. I assumed it was Egypt due to the hieroglyphics on the wall. I heard a rocks scraping against eachother. I suppose it was a door. The next thing I know, Apocaplyse was waltzing in. He stopped at the sight of me. "A spy!" he acused.
"Pardon me?" I wondered. Just to be on the safe side I put on my diamond shield.
"Wait. I remember you." Apocalypse rubbed his chin as he circled. "You're that woman who got a labotamy in order to escape me." he leered at me when he returned to face me. "I thought you were half bald?"
That was it. My eye twitched at the thought. I would never desicrate myself in such a way. I lunged at him, catching him off-guard. He pushed me off with ease. "Make sure she shatters!" he ordered his goons. I was taken away to the top of the citadel (Not without screaming and fighting back, mind you). They had found what resembled to be one of those old Genoshan and collars. They placed it around my neck, neutralizing my powers. They forced me to the nearest window and threw me out. As I screamed bloody murder and was cut by shards of broken glass, I saw another dimensional portal open to my right. I ignored the consequences and ripped off the blasted collar and it exploded in my hands. In pain, I edged my self into the portal, losing conciousness as I did so.
I shall spare you the deatails of less interesting dimensions as there are too many to talk about. I shall tell you about my escape however.
I awoke and found myself strapped to a bed. My uniform was torn and I was bleeding from the glass had cut me. I felt rather sick, I've never really enjoyed the sight of blood. Regardless, I turned into my diamond form and broke off the straps that held me down. I looked around. There were pictures of yours truly everywhere on the wall. I was frightened. Soon a man appeared. "Captian America?" I asked, though my vision was still blury. I could recognize that ghastly cologne anywhere.
"Correct!" the man yelled. He was at my side in a matter of moments.
"What the sodding hell is this?" I asked, glaring at him.
"I transported you, so you could be here with me!" he claimed, starting to kiss my, still diamond, arm. "Of course it was only supposed to teleport you from England, not through dimensions and time."
I smacked him away, throwing him into a wall. "You what!" I yelled, standing and tossing the bed I had been strapped to at a wall. "You insolent little man! I was on vacation. What the bloody hell were you thinking?!"
"I-I'm sorry!" he cowered. "I just wanted to do a cross over!"
"Cross over this!" I torn his hideous helmet off his head and poked at his tiny mind, ripping out all his memories except for the one of me destroying him. He cowered in the corner. I walked up the stairs and see that I head been in a basement... His mother's basement. Luckily she wasn't home at the time, otherwise she would have felt my rage as well.
I was close enough to Westchester to take a cab back to the Institute. Upon my arrival I ducked out of sight and gathered up my bathrobe and nightgown. I took a quick shower, changed my clothes, treated my wound, and went to talk to the Professor about this other Emma.
Bathrobe on tightly, I could sense that the imposter was sitting in the Professor's room with Gaia
"What's this I hear about someone pretending to be me?" I screeched.
"Oh," the other Emma said, "you're back. I should be going soon then."
"What? Oh no, I haven't even gotten started with you, dear! How dare you try to impersonate me!"
After a long discussion, Gaia finally sent all those imposters back. I bit my lip and walked back up to my room, locking the door behind myself. As much as I hate to admit it, I did cry. I was exhausted and happy to be home. I sent an e-mail to my Hellions, telling them that they should return when their wounds finally heal. And I saw the new X-Men 3 trailer
. It really did impress me, though I still hold a grudge against Halle Berry and her atrocious Storm portrayel. I hear that Ashley Hartman may play me in the upcoming film. I'm not entirely certain she can pull it off, but whatever. And using my psychic powers, I have managed to figure out who that blasted funeral is for.
I was about to look up this Ashley Hartman when someone pounded on my door. "Professor Xavier
is in trouble!" Wolverine yelped.
"Alright dearest," I said, pulling on a new uniform. There goes my relaxation time. Wolverine knocked down my door and pulled on my arm, just as I was about to put on my gloves. Soon we (Mystique
now joing us) arrived at the location that the Professor was at. I turned diamond once more and pushed the front wall of Xavier's office, knocking down his attackers.
"Oh golly, Professor!" Wolverine cried, running to "I'm so glad to see you alive! We had thought the worse!"
"There will be time for tears of joy later, Logan," I growled, changing back to normal. "We must get the Professor out of here! Mystique, can you help?"
"Of course, my dear friend," Mystique agreed, wheeling the Professor away. I twitched. Scott stumbled after us in confusion.
Kitty, who looked alot better in her "evil" form, recovered herself and grabbed a rifle. She began firing at the Professor. I quickly turned into my diamond formed and reflected the blasts, which slammed into Iceman. He vaporized in a puff of smoke. Wolverine let out a blood-curling squeal of horror, that distracted Kitty as the rest of us made or escape. I hope my heroics make up for the wall I pushed over. Perhaps Wolverine can take the blame for it and make up for it with hard labor.
"To the sub-basement!" I ordered. Mystique nodded and pushed the Professor into the elevator. I jumped in.
"Wait for me!" Wolverine yelled, the "evil" Warren chasing him. Wolverine lunged at us, claws exteneded. I pressed the down button. As we descended, I heard Wolverine's screams. I led Scott, Mystique and the Professor into the Danger Room, as it is impenatrable.
"Explain this to me Professor... Why are Kitty, Warren and the X-Man formerly known as Bobby after us?" I asked awaiting his answer.