Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Back to the Drawing Board

So much for returning to the Hellfire Clucb. After a grand holiday with a multitude of strippers and drunks (I myself awoke with a rudolph nose on), Jean destroyed it. That tart Selene and Shaw were the only ones to escape. Jean left me alive of course, just for the sake of Scott.

Speaking of the little lemning, as I was returning to my limo to go back to the Mansion, after the destruction of the Club, Scott ran up to me and gave me a kiss. My first thought was to smack him away, but I let it slide, this time. I waited a few minutes and then he stopped. "What the hell was that?" I asked

"I'm a Mormon now. So I can have as many wives as I want in Utah!" he told me excitedly. He reminded me of a small child.

"Not all Mormons are polygamists dear. But I have a charity game with Rachel in a few days. I should be going." I said, trying to get into my limo. He grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder. I tried to invade his mind, but has soon as the idea popped into my head, Scott then placed one of those ghastly Genoshan collars on my neck. Why did we ever keep a spare one around the mansion? I then decided to scream, but unfortunately that little bastard bound and gagged me. I could do nothing but glower. He took my limo to the airport where he flew my private jet to Utah.

After we landed, he took me to a chapel. I have been untied, but dare not try to take off the collar. Scott locked me inside a room to get ready for our "wedding". Luckily there was a functioning computer in here. If anyone is headed to Utah, for the love of God, save me from Scott and his poor wedding dress choices. He may have invited some of the X-Men (most likely Jean) to the cermony. I think something in Scott's mind has snapped, since he has been so much time in that room of his.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

No Surprise here...

Well, I followed Jean after Deadpool's premier.After catching a ride on my private jet, I found her at the New York Hellfire Club. I was relieved Shaw allowed me to enter, under the condition I donned my old uniform of course. Unwillingly I did, planning to keep an eye on our dear friend. I do so hope the dear doesn't decide to eat another sun.

And so, after a few martinis and swapping various stories with the other Inner Circle members, I sought refuge in my old room. It was still intact surprisingly. I'd have thought my "friends" would have given it away to newer members. But once a member always a member I suppose.

I did become awfully bored as it was late at night and no one was around. And so I began "surfing the net" as children today call it. I stumbled upon a "X-Men Personality Quiz". These were my results:

You scored as Emma Frost. Emma Frost is a former enemy of the X-Men but has joined them. She finds certain rules about not reading minds without permission to confining, and she still retains a bit of a bad-girl side. Some x-men are not certain of her alligence, and for good reason. Powers: Telepathy, Can turn her skin into Diamond, Psychic persuasion

Emma Frost

85%

Jean Grey

75%

Cyclops

65%

Nightcrawler

60%

Iceman

55%

Colossus

55%

Storm

55%

Rogue

50%

Wolverine

40%

Gambit

35%

Beast

20%

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com



It wasn't the fact that I was most like myself (at least to their understanding) but how much I am like Jean according to them. Regardless, it was cute, but totally missed the mark.

It also seems the Club has locked me in my chamber. Perhaps by Jean's orders? I was bored beyond all comprehension. I did find a PS2 in my room. Honestly, I have no idea why that's there. Regardless, I found myself playing X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse. And I would just like to say (with a small Spoiler Warning) that it is quite unfair that I was captured, by my girls none the less! I am more intelligent than my Cuckoos. However, it did entertain me. I even started a second game after finishing it. (I did love playing at Mr. Deadpool and Charles. Both were quite powerful and Mr. Deadpool was quite humorous.) I also enjoyed having Jean fall off several cliffs and Scott beaten to a pulp.

This morning, as I was starting the Savage Land level, I recieved a note from under my door. It was an invitation to join Rachel Summers in a base ball game. The maid, who had slipped the invitation under my door, also informed me that my door was jammed and would be fixed promptly. Luckily I am fully accomadated with an adjoining bathroom. I still don't know if I wish to play a nice game of base ball with that tramp, Rachel. I should sooner hope to face insane Jean than be nice to her. Accordingly, I shall. As it stated it was for charity.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Another Trip down the Red Carpet

Well, as you probably read in Charles's blog, a few of the X-Men are going to Deadpool's television program's premier. Of course I myself have appeared in both X-Men: The Animated Series and Pryde of the X-Men, though I should like to forget that role in the latter. But Finola Hughes did portray me in the Generation X made for T.V. film. Although that did make me very cross. Did she not remind you of one of those fembots from Austin Powers?

Anyways, besides the fact I never even got a card congratulating me on my success, I flew with Storm, Black Panther, Charles, Gaia, Jean and Scott and a few others to Deadpool's premier. I was still very cross about having to go with Scott and Jean. Had I the smallest inclination he was planning to take the both of us ("Fire and Ice" as he called us earlier. How he found that funny I can hardly imagine) I would have declined.

Charles mentioned on his blog, he had thought about taking me merely as a stunt to get attention from photographers. He thinks I still dress in that corset of mine. Come off it dear. The year was 1980 and I was in the Hellfire Club. It was a traditional form of dress. Regardless, I can't blame him for being intimidated by me. I tend to do that to people. And at least Gaia got a date for once. Let me be frank dears, she was locked away for thousands of years and has only been attracted to Synch, and let's just say, he won't be dating anyone for awhile. So congrats to Gaia for being choice number two.

I think I made a splash at the Red Carpet nonetheless. I found the dress I had purchased from my mission with Scott in Hong Kong, hanging in my closet. It is an extraordinary piece really. Better than Gaia's Halle Berry knock-off and even what Jean was wearing. Oh, how it reminds me of my Hellfire days as it is the only piece in my collection that would be suitable for current meetings. But that is all in the past as I am now an X-Man.

I shall ask Jean and Betsy if they would like to accomany me on a trip to the Carribean after Deadpool's premier. It should serve as a fantastic get away from the drama of the Mansion. I do think I am taking too much time off. I should just mention that they are for "educational purposes" and whatnot. I hear the Martini's down there are just divine.

And before I forget, Congratulations on your show, Deadpool.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

I wish there was First Class Travel for other Dimensions

Well, it seems I have been greatly missed. I was on a long trip that I didn't go on by choice. Honestly, dears, I woke up in a different dimensions. It was quite strange.

On my first interdimensional trip, I found myself at Comicon 2001. Go figure. I was bombarded with nerds who only believed me to be a wanna-be. They made lewd comments regarding my outfits until Mr. Stan Lee showed up. This of course drove the nerds away. Thank God. Anyways, as I wandered the halls filled with geeks and fanboys, I was cornered by a certain Mr. Logan and his trusty sidekick, Beast. At first I was taken aback by their laughable costumes.

"There you are!" The Wolverine told me. His nasal passage ways were obviously clogged. "You're just in time for the group judging."

"No thanks, dear." I said, flustered. I turned to leave, but Beast grabbed my arm.

"Please," his irritatingly whiney voice chimed. "You finally got the costume right and dropped those thirty or so pounds."

"Let go of me," I growled.

"C'mon! You're perfect as Emma now." the fake Wolverine chanted. "Just this once. Don't make me slice you!" He held his cotton filled claws up to my neck.

That was a huge mistake. I turned into diamond and broke the Beast's arm. Then I whirled around punched the Wolverine right in the nose. "We just wanted to be Wolverine and his Fantastic Friends," he sobbed, falling. That will teach them not to make teams reminiscent of a certain cartoon from 1981 starring Spiderman, Firestar and Iceman.

Unfortunately, the security guards saw me fighting. I merely pushed a few of their bliss buttons. Thankfully, I saw a rip in the interdemensional continuum. I jumped through, hoping it would lead home.

I awoke later and found myself in a dark cold room. I assumed it was Egypt due to the hieroglyphics on the wall. I heard a rocks scraping against eachother. I suppose it was a door. The next thing I know, Apocaplyse was waltzing in. He stopped at the sight of me. "A spy!" he acused.

"Pardon me?" I wondered. Just to be on the safe side I put on my diamond shield.

"Wait. I remember you." Apocalypse rubbed his chin as he circled. "You're that woman who got a labotamy in order to escape me." he leered at me when he returned to face me. "I thought you were half bald?"

That was it. My eye twitched at the thought. I would never desicrate myself in such a way. I lunged at him, catching him off-guard. He pushed me off with ease. "Make sure she shatters!" he ordered his goons. I was taken away to the top of the citadel (Not without screaming and fighting back, mind you). They had found what resembled to be one of those old Genoshan and collars. They placed it around my neck, neutralizing my powers. They forced me to the nearest window and threw me out. As I screamed bloody murder and was cut by shards of broken glass, I saw another dimensional portal open to my right. I ignored the consequences and ripped off the blasted collar and it exploded in my hands. In pain, I edged my self into the portal, losing conciousness as I did so.

I shall spare you the deatails of less interesting dimensions as there are too many to talk about. I shall tell you about my escape however.

I awoke and found myself strapped to a bed. My uniform was torn and I was bleeding from the glass had cut me. I felt rather sick, I've never really enjoyed the sight of blood. Regardless, I turned into my diamond form and broke off the straps that held me down. I looked around. There were pictures of yours truly everywhere on the wall. I was frightened. Soon a man appeared. "Captian America?" I asked, though my vision was still blury. I could recognize that ghastly cologne anywhere.

"Correct!" the man yelled. He was at my side in a matter of moments.

"What the sodding hell is this?" I asked, glaring at him.

"I transported you, so you could be here with me!" he claimed, starting to kiss my, still diamond, arm. "Of course it was only supposed to teleport you from England, not through dimensions and time."

I smacked him away, throwing him into a wall. "You what!" I yelled, standing and tossing the bed I had been strapped to at a wall. "You insolent little man! I was on vacation. What the bloody hell were you thinking?!"

"I-I'm sorry!" he cowered. "I just wanted to do a cross over!"

"Cross over this!" I torn his hideous helmet off his head and poked at his tiny mind, ripping out all his memories except for the one of me destroying him. He cowered in the corner. I walked up the stairs and see that I head been in a basement... His mother's basement. Luckily she wasn't home at the time, otherwise she would have felt my rage as well.

I was close enough to Westchester to take a cab back to the Institute. Upon my arrival I ducked out of sight and gathered up my bathrobe and nightgown. I took a quick shower, changed my clothes, treated my wound, and went to talk to the Professor about this other Emma.

Bathrobe on tightly, I could sense that the imposter was sitting in the Professor's room with Gaia.

"What's this I hear about someone pretending to be me?" I screeched.

"Oh," the other Emma said, "you're back. I should be going soon then."

"What? Oh no, I haven't even gotten started with you, dear! How dare you try to impersonate me!"

After a long discussion, Gaia finally sent all those imposters back. I bit my lip and walked back up to my room, locking the door behind myself. As much as I hate to admit it, I did cry. I was exhausted and happy to be home. I sent an e-mail to my Hellions, telling them that they should return when their wounds finally heal. And I saw the new X-Men 3 trailer. It really did impress me, though I still hold a grudge against Halle Berry and her atrocious Storm portrayel. I hear that Ashley Hartman may play me in the upcoming film. I'm not entirely certain she can pull it off, but whatever. And using my psychic powers, I have managed to figure out who that blasted funeral is for.

I was about to look up this Ashley Hartman when someone pounded on my door. "Professor Xavier is in trouble!" Wolverine yelped.

"Alright dearest," I said, pulling on a new uniform. There goes my relaxation time. Wolverine knocked down my door and pulled on my arm, just as I was about to put on my gloves. Soon we (Mystique now joing us) arrived at the location that the Professor was at. I turned diamond once more and pushed the front wall of Xavier's office, knocking down his attackers.

"Oh golly, Professor!" Wolverine cried, running to "I'm so glad to see you alive! We had thought the worse!"

"There will be time for tears of joy later, Logan," I growled, changing back to normal. "We must get the Professor out of here! Mystique, can you help?"

"Of course, my dear friend," Mystique agreed, wheeling the Professor away. I twitched. Scott stumbled after us in confusion.

Kitty, who looked alot better in her "evil" form, recovered herself and grabbed a rifle. She began firing at the Professor. I quickly turned into my diamond formed and reflected the blasts, which slammed into Iceman. He vaporized in a puff of smoke. Wolverine let out a blood-curling squeal of horror, that distracted Kitty as the rest of us made or escape. I hope my heroics make up for the wall I pushed over. Perhaps Wolverine can take the blame for it and make up for it with hard labor.

"To the sub-basement!" I ordered. Mystique nodded and pushed the Professor into the elevator. I jumped in.

"Wait for me!" Wolverine yelled, the "evil" Warren chasing him. Wolverine lunged at us, claws exteneded. I pressed the down button. As we descended, I heard Wolverine's screams. I led Scott, Mystique and the Professor into the Danger Room, as it is impenatrable.

"Explain this to me Professor... Why are Kitty, Warren and the X-Man formerly known as Bobby after us?" I asked awaiting his answer.